In the early days
of my encounter with Buddhist teachings, I found it a little amusing when
a Buddhist teacher suggested that when we are faced with trying situations,
be it with people or life in general, rather than to react to them, it
is better that we welcome them as opportunities to cultivate ourselves.
At that time I thought it was idealistic and easier said than done.
However, having contemplated
over this advice for a long time, experimenting with it whenever I was
mindful of it, and tasting the sweetness of triumph and bitterness of
defeat, it is no longer an amusing statement but rather a very wise advice.
It is not always that we can anticipate trying situations. If we can,
then perhaps they are no longer trying. They do not appear at specific
times or in specific places. Trying situations usually catch us off guard,
occurring when least expected. Under these circumstances, what better
defence mechanism can there be other than to cultivate at every moment
in the course of life, and especially when these adverse situations present
themselves.
In the aftermath
of a trying situation - when pride has taken a beating, feelings are hurt,
engulfed by anger and animosity, it is easy to see the similarities between
it and a bomb that has exploded. Most bombs come with a fuse. Left unattended,
it burns itself shorter and inches towards an explosion. Cultivation is
about extinguishing the fuse, thereby averting the explosion.
It would not
be easy for people to put that advice into practice at first, I am sure.
It would not be surprising if we had to resort to clenching our fists
in frustration. We may feel the blood pressure rising, the pulsating veins
on the temples and the heat warming up the ears. We may hear the heart
pounding and lungs bursting. We may bite the lips so hard they could bleed.
And there will be times we wanted to scream our heads off. But, it will
do us well to heed the advice that these are opportunities to cultivate
and to seize them immediately.
In moments of
darkness or ignorance, such opportunities had slipped me by. I had to
taste the bitterness of regret and defeat. In times of brightness, I had
seized the opportunities to cultivate and enjoyed the sweetness of victory.
I had walked away from hostile confrontations because this helped me to
cultivate inner strength and courage. I had kept anger at bay because
this helped me to cultivate patience and compassion. I had refrained from
the last say and turned a blind eye because these helped me to cultivate
liberation. In all of these situations I had triumphed, not over anybody
else, but myself.
Over time, the innumerable trying situations, that can confront us the
moment we open our eyes in the morning right up to when we call it a day,
will begin to diminish. It is not that they have disappeared, but rather
because we have become more resilient and more mindful about seizing the
opportunity to cultivate in the midst of living. When we make living synonymous
with cultivation, there is only one thing that we can be certain of, and
that is a blissful life. 
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